SICK

I have my PMS today. Totally painful. Added the broken toilet bowl and dirty dishes.Added my seatmate who I offended last Thursday during English class.Added my headache.Added my bestfriend not being here with me.Added all the deleted pictures in my computer.Added my soul begging for someone who can make me feel better.

This 7/7/7 day is really not mine. Supposed to be a lucky one since it represents jackpot in a slot machine. Not me. Unlucky me.

Everyday is loaded with events I can only do and remember but never actually loved and appreciated. I'm sober and happy yet my heart isn't contented. How I wish I can really find a way to join any soccer team or training camp so that at least I can astray from all these counfusions.

Wearing my pajamas, listening to "Cry me a river" by Justin Timberlake, head continuous to ache and the dishes still left crying in the sink. This day seems to be so slow I'm rotting from within. I need something to entice me and motivate my thoughts. I need to do something new. I need someone new. I need all of them, ASAP.

Word of the Day:

Insouciant

in·sou·ci·ant
adj
unconcerned: cheerfully unconcerned or unworried about something

I'm insouciant about the past yet I wallow in my regrets.

Last Friday, I chatted with a fellow PLM student who happened to be a soccer player too. She motivated me and inspired me a lot. She told me to focus more on the academics, not with pleasure or social life. She also mentioned that things will get a lot harder once I reach the sophomore level and I should be ready for it. Thank God for her, I finally opened up my mind and set my goal. I can't waste this opportunity. Besides, as to what our English prof would repeatedly say, striving for the maximum excellence is the best way to survive and be ahead with anyone else.

But now, before anything else, I'm gonna erase all the old pictures that would make me remember my past and let remain the present where I should be giving my utmost attention.